If My Heart Was A House
by flipmeforward
Summary: A The Notebook!AU. Kurt and Sebastian meet during the summer between high school and college and fall head over heels in love with each other. They don't talk about what's going to happen in September.
1. Chapter 1 - First Summer, part 1

To be fair, it's not like it's the weirdest thing that's ever happened to him, but Kurt still gets pretty damn surprised when Sebastian ends up being the one who saves him from a nervous breakdown that afternoon in June.

He has just finished working his ninth shift at the Lima Bean in seven days, and he feels like he's about to pass out any second, when he runs into a bunch of neanderthals on his way out.

School is out, they don't have to worry about suspension, and this is _Ohio_. They're on him before he even has time to blink. Nothing too physical, because they're still in a very public place, but they catch Kurt so off guard that they might as well have punched him in the stomach. There are slurs and shoulder punches, and when they let him go, it's all he can do to keep himself upright until he gets to his car.

He slumps against the driver's door, taking a couple of deep breaths and digging into his pocket for his phone. He opens up his contacts and stares at it, trying to figure out who to call. He can't figure it out, he can't-He doesn't know who to call. His friends support him, but they don't _understand_, and-He has known this, logically, for years, but it's just now that the realization really _hits_ him, and he stands there in the parking lot, feeling like all the air has been sucked away from him. When he finally remembers how to breathe, he almost manages to work himself into a panic attack, but he's jerked back to reality by an almost-familiar voice.

"Kurt? Are you okay?"

Kurt looks up, and of all the people he could've possibly expected, Sebastian is not one of them. He's a regular at the Lima Bean, he always tips Kurt pretty well, and they've exchanged a few words when Kurt's been wiping tables. He's confident to a point where he's almost full of himself, and had he been just a little bit more cocky Kurt's sure he would've hated the guy, but now, they get along. He wouldn't consider them _friends_, exactly, but he's the one who's here, and he looks at Kurt as if he's expecting an answer.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm-fine. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

Kurt frowns at him. "Why do you care?"

Sebastian shrugs. "I saw what they did." It's not really an answer, but it's more than Kurt ever would expect from him, so he accepts it.

"Okay. I'm fine, though. I've had worse."

Sebastian opens his mouth and looks like he wants to object to that, but he snaps it shut again. "I'll see you around," he says, and walks away. Kurt stares after him for a few seconds before he catches himself and gets into his car. As far as encounters with Sebastian goes, this is the best one yet. That has got to count for something.

xoxoxoxox

It happens again a week later. Kurt has to work a double, again, and he's seriously considering calling his dad and ask him to pick him up, because he's not sure he's able to drive home safely. He gets halfway across the parking lot before he's intercepted, like they've been _waiting_ for him. He closes his eyes and tries to block out the words, but some of them still make it through, still _hurt_. The best thing would be to just get away and drive off, but they're surrounding him, and he's too tired to fight his way through and between them right now. They give up eventually and leave him alone, and Kurt would've slumped to the ground in relief if it hadn't been for the arm suddenly wrapped around his waist, keeping him upright.

"Come on," he hears, and it's-Sebastian. Again. He gets lead to a car that isn't his own, and Sebastian shoves him into the passenger seat before going around and getting into the driver's seat.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asks, but he's not fighting, just wondering.

"Taking your mind off things," Sebastian replies and backs out of the parking lot with a practiced ease that Kurt can't help but admire.

"Why?"

Sebastian doesn't answer, just slides his sunglasses on and gives Kurt a brief smile before steering towards a road that will take them out of Lima.

"Are you kidnapping me?" Kurt asks. Sebastian snorts.

"Why would I want to do that? I told you, I'm taking your mind off things."

"You're not making any sense."

"I never promised I would." He opens up the compartment between the seats. "You pick," he says, nodding sideways towards the stack of CDs. Kurt takes them out and looks through them. He's impressed by Sebastian's taste in music, he would've expected horrible things, and while it's not exactly his favorites, he could easily listen to almost every one of these. Curiosity spiked, he picks out one that just has 'mix 23' scrawled on it and puts it into the stereo. The beat to Gnarls Barkley's _Crazy_ comes through the speakers and Sebastian smiles, reaching to turn up the volume. "Good choice," he says, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

Kurt leans back and looks out the window. They're nearing the city limit and the houses are getting more and more scattered. It's late afternoon and the sun is low, forcing Kurt to squint to be able to see anything. He picks up his phone out of his pocket, but only gets two status updates about college into his facebook feed before he tires of it and puts it down with a sigh.

"Bad news?" Sebastian asks, glancing over at him.

"No, I just...don't know why I keep checking in when it only makes me feel bad," Kurt replies, defeated.

"Check what? Facebook?"

"Yes." He knows it's not his friends' fault that they got into college while he didn't, but it still doesn't mean he wants it rubbed in his face all the time.

"I don't have facebook," Sebastian says, reaching over to turn the volume down a little.

"Yeah, sure," Kurt says sarcastically, not believing him for one second.

"I don't! I had one, but then I got a stalker, so I shut it down."

"You had a stalker?"

"Yes!" Sebastian looks over at him, but Kurt can't tell if he's serious or not when he's wearing sunglasses. "And now I just don't like it."

"Okay," Kurt says, still not sure if he should believe him or not. He can check for himself when he gets home.

"Why does it make you feel bad?"

"I thought you were taking my mind off things," Kurt bites out, a little too sharply.

Sebastian shrugs. "Okay." He takes the next turn, and suddenly they're surrounded by nothing but fields.

"Where are we?" Kurt asks.

"Outside of Lima."

"Are we _lost_?" Kurt inquires, suddenly nervous. Sebastian scoffs, offended.

"No, we're not _lost_. I have GPS in my phone if you really want to know exactly where we are, but you don't _need_ to know."

One song changes into another, and Kurt is a little surprised when Madonna trickles out of the speakers, but when he looks at Sebastian he's singing along under his breath and doesn't seem at all embarrassed.

"Why are you doing this? We're not-friends."

"I can drop you off right here if you don't like it," Sebastian replies, sounding annoyed and a little bit hurt. When Kurt doesn't reply, his shoulders drop and he sighs. "You looked like you needed it," he says a little bit softer.

"I did," Kurt agrees. "Thanks." A beat of silence. "But are we turning back soon? Because I'm starting to get hungry."

"Sure." Sebastian drives until he finds a safe spot to turn, and then they're on their way back, sun behind them and Lima ahead of them.

xoxoxoxox

The next day comes with a heat wave, and Kurt is working his ass off serving customers ice cold beverages when Sebastian saunters into the Lima Bean again. He perches his sunglasses on the top of his head and shoots Kurt a smile as he gets in line. He's all casual and good-looking while Kurt is sweaty and exhausted, and not at all in a good way.

"Hi," Sebastian says when it's his turn. Kurt is already pressing the buttons on the cashier; he knows Sebastian's order. "When do you get off today?"

"Uh-" Kurt glances at the clock. "In forty-five minutes. Why?"

Sebastian hands him a credit card and a five dollar bill. "Just wondering," he says.

"Okay. Well, as said, in about an hour."

"Okay," Sebastian says and signs the receipt, sliding it back to Kurt with another smile before he moves down the counter to wait for his drink. Kurt follows him with his gaze until he catches himself and shakes his head, putting a smile back on his lips and turning towards the next customer.

xoxoxoxox

"Are you still here?" Kurt asks an hour later as he steps out in the parking lot, raising his hand to shield his eyes from the sun.

"No, I'm a ghost," Sebastian replies, sliding down from where he's been sitting on one of the outdoor tables.

"Why?" Kurt asks, suspicious. "Another road trip?"

Sebastian shrugs. "You said we weren't friends. I'm gonna change that."

Kurt blinks. "How?"

"I'm taking you to dinner."

"Like a date?"

"Yes."

Kurt's first-hand experience with dating amounts to zero. He'd hoped that would change when he got to New York, but since he won't get to New York, he might as well take what he gets. "Okay," he says, taking a step towards Sebastian.

Sebastian smiles. He has a really nice smile. "Okay," he echoes. "Good. Let's go, then."

xoxoxoxox

Sebastian drives them to a burger place in the outskirts of town. They make all the small-talk they never did yesterday, and by the time they get a table outside in the shadows with menus in hand, Kurt knows that he and Sebastian are the same age, that Sebastian had been in his school's show choir too, and that he's really good at lacrosse. And also, judging by the last track of the mix CD-that he likes _Mamma Mia!_.

"Are you going to college?" Sebastian asks when the waitress has taken their orders. Kurt sighs and lets his shoulders fall.

"Can we-not talk about college? Like, at all? I applied to one, I didn't get in, and now I don't know what to do, so... Please?"

"Sure," Sebastian says, not pressing. "Tell me more about the time you set your dad up with the mother of your crush and they ended up getting married," he smirks. Kurt kicks him under the table, but he's really grateful for the change of subject. He angsts enough about his future as it is, he doesn't want to do it with Sebastian, too.

xoxoxoxox

When they leave an hour later, Kurt's cheeks hurt from too much laughter. He hasn't felt this easy and been this relaxed in days and he leans back against the headrest with a content smile while Sebastian drives them back to the Lima Bean. He doesn't know much about Sebastian, but he seems interested enough and looks good, and...they do have a summer ahead of them to get to know each other better.

xoxoxoxox

As the days drag on, Kurt finds himself spending more and more of his spare time with Sebastian. They spend a lot of time just driving around, talking and singing along to the stereo, and generally just being. There's an easy silence growing between them, one that doesn't _have_ to be broken, and it feels good. Kurt has only ever had that kind of silence with his dad, and it's rare now that it's not just the two of them anymore, and he didn't realize how much he missed it until now. He and Sebastian can easily drive for half an hour without saying a word to each other, just the low hum of the radio between them and the long stretch of landscape outside to keep them company.

"How do you know your way around here?" Kurt asks one day when the sun is playing hide-and-seek behind the clouds and just generally makes it really annoying to keep his eyes open.

"It's where I learned to drive."

"Here?"

"Yeah. My grandfather has-_had_ a place out here. My parents travel a lot, so I used to stay with him when I was younger."

"Why did he sell it?"

"He didn't."

"But you said-"

"He died." Sebastian keeps his eyes straight ahead, even though the road is clear and there isn't a curve in sight. "Two years ago."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

The silence gets a bit awkward then, Sebastian with his gaze fixed on the road and Kurt picking on the seam of his pants. It's reaching uncomfortable levels, when suddenly the stereo switches track and...Justin Bieber comes on. Kurt looks up and stares at Sebastian.

"Seriously?" It's another mix CD, and this isn't even a radio single, it's an acoustic version, which means Sebastian actively went looking for this version.

"Shut up," Sebastian mutters, still avoiding Kurt's gaze, but now for a completely different reason.

"Bieber? Really?"

Sebastian shoots him a vicious glare, punches the skip button and turns up the volume. "Not talking to you anymore," he mutters, but there's a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Not sure I _want_ to talk to you anymore," Kurt shoots back.

"Fine."

"_Fine_."

There's a few moments of silence, and just as Sebastian opens his mouth to say something, the engine begins to hack. He looks at the steering wheel with a panicked expression, and then at Kurt.

"Stop the car," Kurt says, sitting up straight. "Pull over and stop the car." Sebastian does as he's told, and Kurt looks down at himself. "Lucky for you, these are not my favorite jeans," Kurt mutters and gets out of the car. "Pop the hood," he orders. Sebastian does, then gets out of the car himself.

"Kurt, you can't seriously be-"

"My dad's a mechanic," Kurt interrupts, not looking at him.

"Yeah, my dad's a state attorney, that doesn't mean I go around putting people in jail," Sebastian says, coming around to stand beside Kurt. "Come on, let's just-" He trails off when he sees Kurt go through the basic check-up with a practiced ease.

"Jesus, when did you even have service on your car?" Kurt mutters, looking at his smudgy fingers in disgust. "Do you have anything I can wipe my hands on?"

"No."

"What about the shirt you're wearing?"

"I'm not letting you wipe motor oil on my shirt?!"

"It would be an improvement," Kurt says, still looking at him expectantly.

"Hey, okay, either you mock my taste in fashion or my taste in music. You don't get to do both!"

Kurt looks pointedly at his hands and then down at the exposed engine.

Sebastian sighs. "Fine. I might have something in the back." He walks around and checks the backseat, reappearing with what looks like some kind of band shirt. It's well-washed and soft, and Kurt can't resist folding it out to look at it.

"Aqua," he says, forcing himself to keep his tone neutral. "I...honestly cannot choose between mocking your taste in music or your taste in fashion right now."

"Oh my god, just use it or I'll call a cab and leave you here," Sebastian moans, slumping against the driver's door. "It's not like I wear the thing. Or listen to them."

"Sure," Kurt says, carefully wiping oil all over the soft-washed print. "That's why it's in your car."

"_Kurt_."

"Okay, okay. Can you start the car?"

"But-"

"Just get in and start the car, Sebastian," Kurt says, rolling his eyes. Sebastian obeys, and after a few seconds Kurt waves at him to shut it off again. "I'm gonna call my dad, hang on. I hope you have a tool box in the back," he adds pointedly.

Sebastian gets out again and goes to look in the back. He does locate a tool box and sends a silent thanks to his dad, because Sebastian sure as hell did not put it there. He hands it over to Kurt and then leans against the side of the car while Kurt makes his call, describing the problem and humming while his dad talks him through it.

"There, try again," Kurt says loudly after a while, making Sebastian jerk. He gets into the car and turns the key-it purrs like a dream. Kurt shuts the hood and gives him a triumphant smile. He wipes his hands again, the shirt is definitely beyond all hopes of repair now, then walks around and drops them both in the back before shutting that too.

"Thanks," Sebastian says as Kurt gets into the passenger seat again.

"You're welcome."

"You look weirdly hot as a mechanic," Sebastian smirks, glancing over at him.

"Yeah, right," Kurt scoffs. "Now take me home so I can change."

"I'm serious!" Sebastian exclaims even as he turns the car around.

"Yes, 'weirdly hot,' such a huge compliment. I'm beside myself," Kurt deadpans.

"Okay, fine, you looked hot, period," Sebastian amends. "All..."

"...Greasy and manly?" Kurt fills in for him, sarcasm dripping from his words. Sebastian's silence is answer enough and Kurt sighs. "You're such a stereotype."

"Are you gonna mock me for everything I do?"

A beat of silence, then, "Yes, probably."

"Good to know."

xoxoxoxox

"Hey, uhm, do you have any plans for today?" Sebastian asks as he takes his drink from Kurt.

"No. Or yes, I thought we were hanging out?"

"Yeah, yeah, we are, but-I want to show you something. So I just wanted to make sure we have time."

Sebastian is nervous, and it's adorable. "No, I'm yours for the night," Kurt smiles.

"Good, good. I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

xoxoxoxox

Kurt is in a good mood when he gets off his shift and out into the sun. It's been an early shift, so it's just after three, and it's been a _good_ shift, so he's excited for what the afternoon will bring.

"Hi," he says brightly when he gets to Sebastian, who's standing against his car. "What was it that you wanted to show me?"

"Get in," Sebastian says and motions to the car.

"You could say please, at least," Kurt says, but his smile doesn't fade as he gets into the car.

"_Please_," Sebastian says, sugar-sweet smile on his face as he slides his sunglasses on and starts the car.

"Thank you." Kurt reaches for the spare pair of aviators in the glove box and leans back, forcing the tension from his body and wiggling his toes inside his shoes. Sebastian navigates them in the general direction of where they've been driving around already, but he stays on the main road longer now. Kurt has no idea where they're going, but he trusts Sebastian.

"How did you come out to your parents?" he asks suddenly when they turn onto a gravel road.

Sebastian laughs in surprise and glances over at him. "That was out of the blue," he says, amused. "Why are you wondering?"

Kurt shrugs. "Don't know. I just...can't imagine you sitting them down during dinner and telling them."

Sebastian snorts. "Yeah, no, no need. That wasn't exactly how it happened. They caught me blowing another guy behind the club house down at the golf course. Weren't a lot to question after that."

"Oh." Kurt hasn't exactly envisioned Sebastian as a virgin, but to get it spelled out like this was a little unexpected.

"'Oh' what? You wanted a sob story? I bet yours is," Sebastian smirks. Kurt deflates a little.

"It is, actually," he says. Sebastian's smile dims.

"Oh. Tell me?"

"Not much to tell there, either. I-uh-had some kind of crisis. Made out with a girl, was a kicker on the football team, we both cried when I told him. He said he already knew." Kurt tries to keep his tone light and neutral, tries to not show Sebastian how much this did, and still does, affect him.

"And you call _me_ a stereotype," Sebastian mutters, but there's no heat in it. "I'm glad he was okay with it, though," he adds.

"Yeah."

"You made out with a _girl_?" Sebastian asks after a few moments, as if he's just taken in what Kurt really said.

"Yes," Kurt sighs. "It wasn't my finest moment."

"_Is_ it different than kissing boys?" Sebastian sounds curious.

Kurt replies "I wouldn't know" before he can even think twice about it, and then blushes furiously.

"What, you've never kissed a guy?" Sebastian sounds disbelieving.

"Well you've obviously never kissed a girl, so I guess we're even," Kurt bites out, and it looks like Sebastian wants to reply, but then he suddenly makes a sharp turn into a driveway and stops in front of a battered old house.

"What are we doing here?" Kurt asks as Sebastian kills the engine and unfastens his seatbelt.

"It's what I wanted to show you," Sebastian replies. Kurt glances dubiously at the weather-worn building.

"Okay...?"

Sebastian gets out of the car and motions for Kurt to do the same.

It's a nice house, or at least Kurt is pretty sure that it has been a nice house. It's big, and while it's not _broken_, it's still battered.

"Sebastian, what-"

"It was my grandfather's," Sebastian says, effectively cutting him off.

"Oh."

"He built it himself," Sebastian says when they've walked up to the porch. "He refused to get any help with it before he died. Now it's just...No one wants to hire constructors, because he didn't want that, but none of us have time to fix it. It just...stands here."

Sebastian has his hands deep in his pockets and looks so defeated that Kurt just wants to hug him. Kurt doesn't know what to say, so he keeps quiet. He's a bit overwhelmed with the amount of trust he knows Sebastian is putting in him by showing him this. It wasn't what he expected when Sebastian asked him a few hours earlier, but he wouldn't change it for anything.

"You wanna see the inside?" Sebastian asks, breaking the silence. Kurt nods, and Sebastian pulls up his keys. "Come on, then."

Kurt follows him inside, and is surprised by how much better it looks than on the outside.

"It's pretty much untouched since he died," Sebastian says, flipping on the lights. "None of us wants to live here, but we don't want to sell it, either."

"We?"

"My dad and his brothers. And me, I guess."

Kurt hums and takes a few steps inside, taking in his surroundings. It's obvious that it was an old man who lived here, but it's nice in a comforting kind of way.

"Hey, did you have your own room here?" he asks, suddenly eager to check out childhood Sebastian.

"Err-yeah, but-"

"Where?"

Sebastian hesitates for a split second before sighing. "Up the stairs, second door to the right. But you're not allowed to judge me!" he calls as Kurt hurries to the stairs.

"Depends on what I find!" Kurt calls back, stepping onto the landing on the upper floor. He turns right and puts his hand on the doorknob of the second door, holding his breath as he turns it.

"Dinosaurs," he says out loud, because he's too overwhelmed to shut up. Sebastian comes up beside him and nudges his shoulder playfully.

"Shut up," he murmurs. "I was five."

"And you didn't change it once since then?" Kurt asks, amused.

"Dinosaurs are cool."

"Yeah, totally, but...maybe not in abundance like this." It's dinosaurs everywhere.

"I only stayed here until I was twelve. Then I went to boarding school."

"Okay," Kurt says, still amused and humoring him.

"You've seen enough? You have enough to mock me for a lifetime now?"

Kurt steps closer until their sides are flush together. The implication of a forever makes warmth curl in his stomach and he bites his lip to keep his pleased smile down. "Yeah," he says, leaning his head on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian puts his arm around Kurt's waist, slow and tentative but warm and comforting.

"You want to go out? See the lake?"

Kurt nods. "Yes."

xoxoxoxox

The property is big, but the way from the house down to the lake is short. They walk close but not touching, hands in their pockets.

"You spent your summers here, too?"

"Yeah. My grandmother taught me how to swim."

"My mother taught me."

They walk out onto the dock, the wooden boards creaking beneath their feet. Sebastian bends down to untie his shoes and then sits down on the edge, swings his legs over the edge and dips his feet into the water. He hisses at the cold but doesn't pull back.

"Come on," he says, looking up at Kurt. "It's nice."

Kurt frowns for a long minute before bending down to slowly untie his own shoes. He carefully folds up his pants, momentarily glad he's not allowed to wear skinny jeans at work because they would've been impossible to fold up. He sits down gingerly beside Sebastian and follows him, hissing and freezing when his toes hit the cold water, but he bears through until his ankles are submerged.

"Nice, huh?"

"Yeah."

They keep quiet after that, just swirling their feet in the water, looking out at the lake and the forest on the other side.

"This is a really nice place," Kurt says after a while. He will regret sitting in the sun without sunblock tomorrow, but right now he can't find it in him to care, really.

"Yeah. I want to shape it up, someday. When I'm out of college and have time."

"What's wrong with now?" Kurt asks, because really, Sebastian doesn't have a job so he has all the time in the world right now.

"Right now I'm busy," Sebastian says with a pointed look. Kurt blushes and averts his gaze. "No, but...I think I want to live here," Sebastian continues. "In the summer, at least. Few weeks of vacation, a few weeks of working from home. Could be nice."

"I suppose," Kurt agrees, even though he can't really see himself living anywhere but the city as an adult.

"What would you want to do? If you could decide one thing to do with this place, what would you do?" Sebastian asks, nodding over their shoulders up at the house.

"Fairy lights on the porch," Kurt replies immediately. It's the one thing his dad doesn't let him do, and it's the one thing Kurt really wants.

"Pot calling kettle," Sebastian says, but he's smiling. "Fairy lights? _Really_?"

"They're nice," Kurt says solemnly, refusing to get defensive about this dream.

"Alright, if you say so."

"I do."

Then there's silence, again. The sun is starting to set, spreading a warm glow over everything, and Kurt's skin is already tinted red. Skin care is going to be a nightmare for the next week. He's mentally cataloguing his different creams to figure out the best remedy for this, when Sebastian's voice breaks through his thoughts.

"Kurt," he says, soft and gentle and possibly a little bit nervous.

"Hmm?" Kurt says, acknowledging him, but still trying to figure out how much aloe vera he has left.

"Can I kiss you?"

All thoughts of aloe vera vanishes from Kurt's mind in a flash. He hears his own blood rushing in his ears, feels his lungs expand from the sharp intake of breath and goosebumps break out all over his arms and neck. Sebastian wants to kiss him. Sebastian wants to _kiss_ him. Sebastian _wants_ to kiss him. Sebastian-_asked_ if he can kiss him, and the fact that he _asked_ makes Kurt breathless all over again because Sebastian knows that this is Kurt's first kiss, the first that _counts_, and he doesn't want to just take it.

He realizes that Sebastian has waited for an answer and given up when Sebastian braces himself against the dock and moves to stand up. "Never mind," he mutters, and Kurt is abruptly shaken out of his trance-like state.

"No!" he says, too loudly, and Sebastian flinches, pulling his feet out of the water, but Kurt grabs his arm. "No, I mean-Yes. Yes, you can-definitely kiss me."

Sebastian relaxes, puts his feet back into the water. "You sure?" he asks, even as he's leaning in. Kurt nods, his breath caught in his throat. He's feeling hot in a way that has nothing to do with the sun and the look in Sebastian's eyes are too intense, so he closes his eyes and just waits.

It's agonizingly slow seconds before Sebastian's lips meet his, dry-chapped meeting soft and smooth, and _oh god_ this is nothing like kissing Brittany. He's still gripping Sebastian's arm and he relaxes his grip when he realizes that his fingernails are digging into Sebastian's skin, but Sebastian doesn't exactly seem to mind. He leans further into the kiss, reaching up to put a hand on Kurt's neck, keeping him still and holding him in place. There's sunlight on his skin and the soft lapping of the water against the dock pillars, the smell of Sebastian, the _feel_ of Sebastian's skin under his hand, their lips pressed together and _moving_ and- Kurt breaks away with a soft sigh, his eyes fluttering open to meet Sebastian's gaze.

"That okay?" he asks. "Kissing a boy?" There's a teasing smile on his lips, and Kurt leans back in to kiss it away, because he _can_.

"Yes. Very okay."


	2. Chapter 2 - First Summer, part 2

The fact that he can call Sebastian his boyfriend makes Kurt float on clouds for days afterwards. Every time he sees Sebastian, his stomach flutters even more than before, and he can't keep a smile off his face.

"Hey, you," he says when Sebastian approaches the counter early one Saturday.

"Hi," Sebastian replies, sly grin in place. "You have plans for tonight?" Kurt had had plans, actually, but Rachel had cancelled late last night.

"No, I don't. Why?"

Sebastian glances around him and confirms that he's not holding up a line.

"My parents are having a barbeque, and they-uh-asked me to invite you."

"What?" Kurt squeaks, almost dropping the plastic cup in his hand. "Why?"

Sebastian rubs the back of his neck, looking flustered. "Apparently I've talked about you, and they're curious."

"You've told them about me?" Kurt asks, pleased and scared at the same time.

Sebastian looks confused. "Yeah, of course I have. Why, shouldn't I?"

"No, no, I'm just-It's fine," Kurt says. "And I'd love to come tonight," he adds.

"Really?"

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I? You've met my dad." Sebastian has, and while it had been hilarious in its own way to see how nervous Sebastian got, it had been pretty nerve-wracking for Kurt as well. His dad is the single most important person in his life, Kurt doesn't know what he'd do if Burt hadn't approved of Sebastian. He'd like to think he's independent enough that he wouldn't care, but he knows it isn't true.

"Okay," Sebastian says and grabs his drink as a couple of customers enter the shop. "Come around six? I'll text you my address in a second."

"Yeah, sure. See you then."

xoxoxoxox

Kurt is still fine when Sebastian leaves, but by the time he gets off his shift he's managed to work himself into a state of mild panic.

"What am I supposed to wear?!" he exclaims when Sebastian _finally_ picks up his phone. Sebastian's responding laugh calms him for a second, before he remembers why he's calling. "Shut up! You're not allowed to laugh, it's your parents."

"Yeah, babe, it's _my_ parents, so just chill, okay? You'll be fine as long as you don't come naked, and I really doubt you will."

"In your dreams," Kurt mutters, unlocking his car and not calmed at all.

"My _very nice _dreams," Sebastian agrees, making Kurt yelp and drop his keys on the ground.

"_Sebastian,_" he hisses, not caring that he's the only one who can hear since they're on the phone.

"What? I'm not allowed to say I think of you naked? Would you rather I think of someone else naked instead?"

"Yes. No! I mean-" he stops talking when Sebastian laughs too much to hear him. He finally manages to unlock his car and gets inside, shifting the phone from one hand to another since he doesn't want to listen anyway. "Are you done?" he bites out when he's had enough.

Sebastian sobers, but Kurt can still hear him huffing with suppressed laughter. "Yeah, sorry. Don't worry, I won't think of anyone else anyway."

"I need to hang up, I'm gonna drive home."

"Okay, just-oh, fuck, this is gonna sound so wrong now because of that, but I promise it has nothing to-do you want to stay over, tonight?"

Kurt freezes with the key in the ignition. "W-what?"

"Stay over. Tonight. So you don't have to drive home. I mean, you still have tomorrow off, right? You can sleep on the couch. Or I can sleep on the couch, or whatever, I just-You can stay over. If you want to."

"I'll...see," Kurt says, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He trusts Sebastian, he knows nothing will happen if he doesn't want to, but the thing that's making him nervous is that he kind of maybe possibly _wants_ something to happen. He's nineteen and he hadn't even kissed a boy until Sebastian kissed him; he wants to have done _something_ before he leaves this hellhole and goes out into the real world. "I really need to go now, I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Sebastian sounds hesitant, but Kurt doesn't have enough focus to reassure him right now; his mind is too busy whirling with the possibilities of tonight. They hang up, and Kurt can finally turn on the engine and drive out of the parking lot.

xoxoxoxox

"Hey, Dad?" Kurt asks, hovering in the kitchen doorway. He's showered and is waiting for his hair to dry properly. His dad looks up from where he's squinting at a cookbook.

"Yeah?"

"I, uh, might stay over at Sebastian's tonight. Just so you know." He fiddles with a loose splint of wood in the frame, avoiding Burt's eyes. He doesn't ask for permission, because he's an adult, and he doesn't need to ask for permission to stay over with his boyfriend, but he still wants his dad to know.

"Okay?" his dad says, now squinting at him instead. "Do I need to give you the safe sex talk again?"

Kurt feels himself flush with embarrassment. "Please don't," he says quickly. "Please, _please_ don't." Once is enough, really. Kurt assumes it was Carole who prompted his dad to talk about it last fall, and while Kurt had appreciated the gesture, he _does not_ want a repeat.

"Okay, good. So why are you telling me?"

"I just-wanted to let you know. That I might not be coming home tonight."

"All right, thanks for letting me know."

"Sure." Kurt turns to leave again, but his dad stops him.

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Be safe."

Kurt blushes again. He doesn't really think it'll come to the point where he'll need to 'play it safe,' but it's good to know that he's cared for. "I will," he says, not wanting to bother his dad with the details.

xoxoxoxox

Ten to six Kurt is in his car, driving towards the address Sebastian had texted him. He's nervous, his palms are sweaty against the steering wheel, and he keeps slipping above the speed limit. He's definitely meeting his boyfriend's parents for the first time tonight, and he might possibly have some kind of sex for the first time tonight. It's completely normal to be nervous.

It's maybe not as normal to be scared shitless, but, oh well. What do you do? He turns up the volume on the stereo and sings along, trying to calm himself. It kind of works.

His nerves come back with full force once he turns onto a street with a lot of big, expensive-looking houses. Kurt has somewhat expected Sebastian to live like this, but to _see_ it is a bit different. He doesn't need to check the street numbers to know where the party's at; there's a bunch of cars in front of the house Kurt assumes is number fourteen. He parks his own car down the road, grabs his overnight bag, and slowly walks down the sidewalk to the right house. His palms are clammy again and he wipes them on the back of his thighs before turning into the driveway. There are noises coming from behind the house, and Kurt's not sure if he's supposed to ring the doorbell or just...walk around the house.

Sebastian takes the decision from him by opening the front door, grinning at him.

"Hey, you came! I was afraid you were gonna freak out on me," he says, walking down the front steps barefoot and meeting Kurt on the walkway. "I'm glad you didn't," he adds, and leans in to kiss Kurt.

"I, uh..." Kurt attempts, hitching his shoulder to point at the bag. Sebastian's smile widens.

"Oh, I noticed. You wanna put that in my room before we go out in the backyard?"

Kurt nods and follows as Sebastian leads the way into the house and up the stairs. He goes down the hall until he reaches the end. "I should probably warn you," he says seriously and turns to Kurt with one hand on the doorknob. Kurt's mind helpfully supplies him with a dozen different scenarios in milliseconds, making his breath catch, before Sebastian smirks and continues. "There aren't a lot of dinosaurs." He turns the knob and holds the door open, receiving a smack on his shoulder when Kurt passes him.

"Jerk," Kurt mutters, dropping his bag on the floor and looking around.

"Mm, yeah, but you like me anyway," Sebastian says easily, coming over to him and sliding an arm around his waist.

Kurt turns in his embrace and puts his arms around Sebastian's neck. "And I have no idea why."

Instead of replying, Sebastian just smiles and leans in for another kiss, this one slower and surer than the one outside. Deeper, _better_. Kurt can't help the tiny moan that slips out of him, but Sebastian breaks away instantly.

"We-we should get downstairs," he says, taking a step back and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"What?" Kurt asks, face falling.

"No, no, not like that," Sebastian hurries to say, stroking Kurt's cheek. "If I could spend the rest of the night kissing you I would, but I'm trying really hard to respect you right now and if I-if we continue, I won't be able to go downstairs."

Kurt blushes. He's been doing a lot of that today. "Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_. So come on, let's go downstairs before someone comes looking for us." He grabs Kurt's hand and leads them back downstairs.

They walk through the living room to the wide-open glass doors leading out to the back, where a bunch of people are milling around. Sebastian puts his arm around Kurt's waist and leads him to the patio where a couple of men are standing in front of the grill.

"Dad," Sebastian says, and the man with the tong looks up. "This is Kurt. Kurt, this is my dad."

The man's smile is nice and warm. "Hello Kurt, nice to finally meet you. I would shake your hand, but I'm kind of busy at the moment, I hope you'll excuse me. I'm Carl."

Kurt has no idea how Sebastian's dad is as successful at his job as he apparently is, because the man standing in front of him is not intimidating at all; Kurt doesn't know how he manages as a state attorney.

"No, it's okay," he says. "Nice to meet you, too, sir."

"Oh, no, you don't have to bother with 'sir,' I get enough of that at work. Call me Carl. Now, while I'm sure you haven't heard nearly as much about me as we have heard about you, please make yourself comfortable here."

"Okay, I will," Kurt says, a little astounded by the ease and comfort Carl is providing. "Thank you."

"You want steak or burger?"

"Uhm, burger, thanks."

"Coming right up!" Carl salutes them with his tong and goes back to the conversation with his friends, and Sebastian leads Kurt over to the table where a woman and an old lady are sitting.

"Mom, Alice," Sebastian says, and Kurt tenses and straightens himself up a little when he hears the slight change in Sebastian's voice. "This is Kurt, my boyfriend. And this is my mom, and her very good friend Alice."

Kurt reaches out to shake their hands. "Nice to meet you, Mrs Smythe," he says, putting on his best brave smile and hopes it doesn't show how intimidated he is. She doesn't beg off the formalities like her husband. Kurt turns to the lady beside her. "Hi, I'm Kurt Hummel."

"Hello, I'm Alice. I live next door. Hummel you say, as in Hummel's Tires & Lube?"

Kurt can't keep the surprise out of his face. "Yes. That's my dad's shop. You know it?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely. Mr Hummel, the other I mean, your father, has been fixing my car for years. Wonderful man!"

Kurt smiles, all genuine this time. "Thank you. I'll let him know you said that."

"Your dad's a mechanic?" Mrs Smythe asks, and Kurt's smile immediately drops at the condescending tone in her voice.

"Yes, and Kurt is, too," Sebastian says, stepping in. "He fixed my car when it broke down a couple of weeks ago."

"Which never would've happened if you'd just gotten regular service done, mind you," Kurt mutters under his breath. Sebastian squeezes his waist.

"Well, now I won't have to bother you, because you can do it for me, right honey?" he says, sugar-sweet. Kurt just rolls his eyes.

"Well," Mrs Smythe says, displeasure evident in her voice. "Maybe you two can go in and bring out the dishes?" It's a clear dismissal, and Sebastian gets it, immediately turning around with his arm still around Kurt's waist.

"Well, that could've gone worse," Sebastian mutters as they make their way inside again.

"It could?" Kurt asks, genuinely curious.

"Yeah. Well, not a lot, I guess, but still."

"I thought you said I didn't need to be nervous," Kurt says, grabbing the cutlery Sebastian hands him. "Your mom hates me, Sebastian. That is valid reason to be nervous."

"She doesn't hate you," Sebastian protests, but he doesn't sound a hundred percent convinced. "She's just-hard to get to know."

"She hates me," Kurt repeats. Sebastian sighs and abandons his search for paper plates in favor of turning around to kiss Kurt.

"No she doesn't. And even if she did, it wouldn't matter, because _I_ don't hate you. Besides, my dad loves you, so that's gotta count for something."

"Yeah, I guess."

xoxoxoxox

The rest of the night is pretty uneventful. Kurt stays as far away from Mrs Smythe as he can manage without being rude, and he keeps close to Sebastian. He makes pleasant conversation with Sebastian's dad and a bunch of the other guests, and generally it's a nice evening.

When people start to head home, Kurt and Sebastian are sitting cuddled up under a blanket on the front porch swing. They say goodbye to the ones who passes by, but when Kurt starts yawning every thirty seconds, Sebastian starts to notice.

"Tired?"

"Mm, long day," Kurt replies sleepily, burying his head in Sebastian's shoulder.

"Wanna go to bed?"

Suddenly, Kurt isn't all that tired anymore. Going to bed means...yeah, Kurt _really_ isn't tired anymore. Sebastian notices the tension in his shoulder, of course he notices, and rubs his back.

"Hey, just sleeping, okay? I mean it, I'll sleep on the couch if you want me to."

"No, no don't-I don't want that."

"Okay. Good." They get up and inside, and Sebastian lets Kurt have the first go in the bathroom. He hurries through a condensed version of his skin-care routine and brushes his teeth, then walks back into the bedroom.

"You sure it's okay if I sleep with you?" Sebastian asks, voice a bit muffled by the t-shirt he's pulling over his head. He's already stripped out of his pants, so apart from the shirt, he's down to his underwear. His very tight, very fitting boxer-briefs. Kurt swallows.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Sebastian gets the shirt off and turns to him and smiles. "Be right back," he says, kissing Kurt on the cheek when he passes him on his way to the bathroom. Kurt looks after him until the door's closed and locked, then he looks down at himself. How much is he supposed to dress down? He brought a pajamas, but he doesn't want to be overdressed. He doesn't want to be underdressed either, and he doesn't know if Sebastian is planning on putting anything on when he comes back. Kurt kind of hopes he will, but also that he won't. It's a really nice sight, and he would be lying if he said he hasn't dreamed about finally feeling Sebastian's skin against his-but it's also very distracting, and Kurt doesn't know if he'll be able to control his body if he gets into bed with an almost-naked Sebastian.

Not that he thinks Sebastian will mind his body's reaction. He looks at the locked bathroom door again, and then, with a sigh, he hurries to pull off his jeans and dress shirt, leaving him in briefs and his undershirt. He pulls back the bedspread and crawls in under the covers. The sheets are soft and cool and smell of Sebastian, and Kurt can't help himself from burying his head in one of the pillows and taking a deep breath. He lets it out just as Sebastian opens the bathroom door.

"Taking liberties, are we?" Sebastian teases, walking over to turn off the overhead lights.

"Oh. Am I on your side or something?" Kurt asks hesitantly, scooting over a little. He can't make out Sebastian's shape in the dark before his eyes have adjusted to the darkness, so his heart skips a beat when he feels the mattress shift beside him.

"No, not at all," Sebastian reassures him. "I usually sleep sprawled all over." He gets in under the covers, but stays a good foot away from Kurt. "I'll try to restrain myself, but I'm not making any promises."

Kurt turns to his side so he's facing Sebastian. "I think I'll survive," he says. He reaches out, puts a tentative hand on Sebastian's arm.

"Good," Sebastian says, inching a little closer. "Would be really fucking boring if I managed to get you into my bed and then accidentally crushed you the first night."

"Boring, huh? That's the only thing it would be?"

"No. Honestly, I think I'd be pretty devastated."

"Oh, you _think_?"

"Mhm." Sebastian inches even closer and pushes on Kurt's shoulder until he's flat on his back, then he leans over him. "Yes. And right now, I _think _I want to kiss you. That all right?"

Kurt nods. "Yeah. Very all right," he says, so Sebastian leans down and does exactly that.

It's gentle and soft at first, Sebastian's lips barely touching his, but when Kurt reaches up to put his hand on Sebastian's neck and pull him down, Sebastian complies easily, deepening the kiss. He hovers above Kurt for a while, but finally he seems to realize that Kurt isn't going anywhere, and lowers himself until he's half on top of him. Kissing gets easier then, when he doesn't have to hold himself up; he can put his hand on Kurt's cheek and gently guide him until the angle is perfect, can run his other hand down Kurt's side where his skin is warm through the soft cotton of his shirt. It's tongues sliding and lips pressing and Kurt is letting out those tiny moans again but this time Sebastian doesn't back away. He licks into Kurt's mouth and presses down harder, and Kurt gasps when he feels Sebastian's erection against his thigh.

He feels himself flush, all over, and he doesn't know what to do so he tangles his fingers in Sebastian's hair and slides the other arm around his waist, keeping him in place, because if there's one thing he _does_ know, it's that he doesn't want Sebastian to go anywhere.

"Kurt," Sebastian gasps, their mouths millimeters apart. "If you don't-I'm not gonna be able to stop, soon," he says, his breath coming in warm, wet puffs against Kurt's lips.

"I don't want to stop," Kurt whispers, surging up for another kiss, dragging Sebastian down with him. Sebastian shifts so that he's more on top of Kurt, his cock pressing against Kurt's now, and both of them moan against each other. Somewhere in his mind Kurt knows that this must be pretty unexciting for Sebastian, rubbing off in his underwear when he's done better things, but he himself is so overwhelmed by this that he can't bring himself to care, not right now. He wants to take off his shirt, wants to feel Sebastian's skin against his own, wants _more_, but he doesn't want to let go at all. Sebastian seems to want the same thing though and he has less attachment problems because he sits up, straddling Kurt's legs, and looks down at him.

"Come on," he says, pulling at the hem of Kurt's shirt. "Off." Kurt arches up and twists to get his shirt off, shivering when Sebastian's finger brushes over his bare skin, and as soon as they've gotten rid of the shirt, he drags Sebastian down again. Their kisses get sloppier and soon turns into them just panting into each other's mouth, their hips jerking against each other, searching for friction, for that tiny fraction of relief. Kurt moans, clutching at Sebastian's skin, his hands sliding down to grab his ass through his underwear. This is all so new, so amazing and wonderful and Kurt just wants to do this _forever_, wants to stay pressed against Sebastian like this with just their breaths and moans and gasps as the only things surrounding them.

"Kurt, _fuck_," Sebastian moans, burying his face in Kurt's neck. His grip around Kurt's bicep tightens and his hips stutter irregularly against Kurt's, and _fuck_, Kurt can feel Sebastian's cock twitch against his. It isn't until he feels wetness seep through his own underwear that he realizes Sebastian just _came_ against him, and that thought is a million times hotter than Kurt ever thought he'd find it. He whines against Sebastians cheek, gripping his ass harder and pushing him down as he arches up, desperate and needy and just wanting to _come_, and then Sebastian slides a hand between them, rubbing the pad of his thumb against Kurt's nipple, and Kurt comes with a shout, muffled by Sebastian's shoulder.

The silence stretches out between them, their breathing easing out and slowing down. Sebastian is still laying on top of Kurt, but it's not an uncomfortable pressure, and Kurt is tracing random patterns on Sebastian's back, trailing his fingers over the knobs of his spine and slipping his fingertips under the waistband of Sebastian's underwear.

"Am I crushing you?" Sebastian asks after a while, his voice heavy with sleep.

"No," Kurt says, honestly.

Sebastian presses a kiss to Kurt's neck. "'m gonna move anyway, need to clean up b'fore I fall asleep," he mumbles, but it still takes him a few seconds to actually gather up the strength to lift himself off of Kurt. He drops heavily onto his back, reaching out a hand to fumble for the tissues on his nightstand.

"That's not gonna help," Kurt remarks and then winces, because yeah, dry tissues won't do much for the dry come in their underwear.

"I knooow," Sebastian moans, dropping his arm over his eyes. "The bathroom's so far away, though."

"I'll kiss you when you get back," Kurt coaxes. Sebastian lifts his arm a little to squint at him.

"Yeah?" He sighs heavily before pushing himself up on his elbows and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. "You wanna borrow a pair of underwear?" he asks, glancing over his shoulder at Kurt.

"I have a pair in my bag, could you grab them?" Sebastian nods and gets off the bed with another long-suffering sigh, crossing the room with a few strides. When he flips on the bathroom lights Kurt squeezes his eyes shut from the harsh light and he keeps them closed as long as he hears Sebastian rummage around in there. When he hears the click of the switch and the light fades, he opens his eyes again and tries to focus on Sebastian as he makes his way back.

"Here," Sebastian says and presses a damp towel into Kurt's hand. He cleans up and puts on the clean underwear, then hands the towel back to Sebastian, who just drops it onto the floor before crawling into bed again. He arranges himself so that his body is flush to Kurt's, his chest against Kurt's side and their legs tangling together. He slides an arm around Kurt's waist and presses a kiss to his shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asks when it seems like he's settled. "That wasn't too much?"

Kurt shakes his head. "No. It was perfect."

"Good. 'Cause I wanna do that again."

Kurt feels giddy with relief. "Yeah, me too."

They're silent for a few minutes, trying to fall asleep, but then Sebastian breaks the silence. "I'm sorry, but this isn't working. I can't sleep like this."

Kurt lets out a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding. "Oh, thank god, me neither."

"Too close, too warm," Sebastian says, untangling himself from Kurt and scooting away until only one of his feet is tucked under Kurt's shin. "There, better."

"Mm," Kurt hums, burrowing himself deeper into the mattress. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3 - First Summer, part 3

Kurt wakes up before Sebastian the next day, his body attuned to his work schedule. It takes him a moment to realize where he is, but when he does, he can't keep the smile off his face. Sebastian wasn't lying when he said he sprawls during the night; right now he's posed like a ballet dancer, one foot against the other knee and one arm thrown across Kurt's chest. Kurt's pretty sure he could move the arm without waking Sebastian, but he doesn't want to. It's not uncomfortable, and he doesn't exactly have anywhere to be.

It doesn't take long for Sebastian to wake up, though. It's like he can sense that Kurt's awake.

"Mm, mornin'," he mumbles, and his rough voice sends pleasure thrills down Kurt's spine. "Wasn't just one of those really good dreams, then." He stretches like a cat, arching up from the mattress and then slumping down again, before leaning over to press a kiss on Kurt's shoulder. "You sleep okay?"

Kurt nods, shifting to his side so that he's facing Sebastian. "Yeah. You didn't crush me."

"Good." Sebastian reaches behind himself for his phone, squinting at the bright display in the dim light of the room. "You want breakfast?"

"Can I shower first?"

"Yeah, of course."

They don't actually get up for another few minutes, taking the time to soak in each other's presence. Sunlight is filtering in through the blinds, making patterns on the floor and the bed. It's idyllic, really, until Sebastian's stomach growls loudly.

"I'm sorry," he laughs, covering his face with his arm. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, I heard," Kurt replies with a smirk. "Guess I should go shower then, huh?"

"Mm. There are towels under the sink."

"Okay."

Kurt brushes his teeth and showers, making as quick work of everything as he can. He expects Sebastian to be downstairs already when he exits, but his boyfriend is still in bed.

"I need a shower, too," he says to Kurt's unvoiced question and stands up. "You can go down, I won't take long."

"Err," Kurt says, because he's really not up to facing Sebastian's mother alone when it's still kind of early in the morning. Especially not after spending the night in her son's bed.

"Don't worry," Sebastian says and leans in to press a quick kiss to Kurt's mouth. "She's at yoga. It's just my dad."

Kurt breathes out. "Okay. I can deal with that."

xoxoxoxox

"What do you want to do? With your life?"

It's late afternoon and they're at the old house again. They're laying side by side on a blanket under the big oak tree by the lake and Sebastian's just finished telling Kurt about the summer his grandfather taught him how to fish.

"Wow, switching subjects, are we?" Sebastian laughs, squinting at Kurt above his sunglasses.

Kurt just shrugs. He's curious.

"I want to work with advertising, I think," Sebastian says, laying down again and letting his sunglasses slot into place. "Make people desperately need stuff they didn't even knew they wanted, you know?"

"For some reason, that doesn't surprise me at all."

"Har-har. I got..." Sebastian glances at Kurt and cuts himself off. "Nevermind."

"What?"

"No, forget it."

Kurt eyes him warily, but decides to let it go. "Okay. And more? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do?"

It's Sebastian's turn to shrug. "I don't know. I mean, I want to do something with this place, but you already know that. Live here a few weeks during the summer, then...I don't know. New York? LA? Probably out of Ohio, at least."

"Travel?"

"Mm, maybe. My grandparents live in France, but I'll probably be tired of that after-a while. Asia, maybe? I wanna see Tokyo."

"Alone?"

Sebastian turns to his side, facing Kurt. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No?"

"Well then. You have anything against Tokyo?"

"No?"

"Okay. Good. What do you want?"

Kurt sighs. "I...I honestly don't know. I was dead set on NYADA, but now...I don't know. I still want to go to New York, though. Sometime. And I want to go to Paris, but other than that I'm open." He pauses. "You think we'll still be together by then?"

"When? When you go to Paris? I don't-" Sebastian sits up and takes off his sunglasses. "Look, I know we've only been together for like...barely two months, but-" He looks out over the lake, chewing his lip. "When I think about doing those things, I think about doing them with you. And maybe I'm naive or-Fuck, I don't know, I've never been-I've never felt like this before, I've never _been_ with someone like this, but it, _this_, feels real. Or whatever. I just-I want to do those things with you, Kurt. So yeah, I hope we'll still be together by then." He finally looks at Kurt then, nervous about his reaction, but Kurt's only reply is to surge up and grab hold of Sebastian's neck and kiss him deeply.

"I-I want that, too," he says breathlessly when they break apart. "I want that, too."

Sebastian smiles against his mouth and lowers them until Kurt is on his back again and Sebastian is leaning over him. "Good," he says, eventually. "Glad we're on the same page." He presses his whole body against Kurt's, and suddenly Kurt has a pretty clear idea of where this is going.

"I'm not having sex outside," he says, but he doesn't even sound convincing to his own ears and he can't deny the thrill of excitement that runs through him at the thought.

"Okay," Sebastian agrees, humoring him as he moves to press kisses to Kurt's neck. His cock is hardening against Kurt's and of all the kinks to choose from, Kurt would not have put exhibitionism high on his own list, but you live and learn, apparently.

"Seriously, anyone can-" he cuts himself off when Sebastian sucks on one of the sensitive spots on his clavicle, the spot that always gets him and Sebastian _knows_ that, the _jerk_.

"Anyone can what?"

"-See us, _oh my god_," Kurt finishes with a gasp, arching up when Sebastian _bites down_ jesus christ.

"No one comes here," Sebastian murmurs, licking over the bruise quickly forming on Kurt's skin. "Have you ever seen anyone here besides us?"

"No, but that-hngh-that doesn't mean they _can't_ come here," Kurt tries to argue, but he's tangling his fingers in Sebastian's hair to keep him where he is, so he's not exactly making a point.

"I can stop," Sebastian says, starting to move away, but Kurt grips his head to force him down again, and thrusts his hips up against Sebastian's.

"I didn't say that." He's not sure he'll ever be saying that. They've only been going at it for a couple of weeks, but it's way better than Kurt ever would've expected. It's addicting, all of it, from Sebastian's moans and gasps in Kurt's ear to his mouth around Kurt's cock-he can't get enough, _they_ can't get enough, and they haven't even gone all the way yet. He feels Sebastian's fingers on the waistband of his pants and relaxes his grip on Sebastian's head, to give him a chance to actually see what he's doing. Sebastian immediately takes the opportunity to sit up and back down until he's straddling Kurt's legs, his eyes fixed on where he's unbuttoning Kurt's pants.

"I could charge people who happen to come by," Sebastian says, pulling Kurt's pants down a little and rubbing his thumbs over Kurt's hip bones. "And they would gladly pay to see you naked."

Kurt feels himself blush at the compliment, and puts his arm over his face so he doesn't have to look Sebastian in the eye and see the honesty behind it.

"Not that I would let them," Sebastian continues. "I don't actually want people watching us." He pats Kurt's hip to get him to lift his ass and then pulls down the pants. Not much, just enough to give him easy access, making it easier to put his mouth on Kurt's cock through the underwear.

"Fucking hell," Kurt hisses, arm flying off his face to come down and tangle his fingers in Sebastian's hair again.

"This really turns you on," Sebastian murmurs, amused, sucking the tip and making Kurt groan.

"Yeah, or it _could_ have something to do with the fact that I have a really hot guy between my legs with his mouth on my-" Kurt breaks off, because despite all, he can't bring himself to say it.

"On your cock," Sebastian finishes for him, still really amused.

"Just get on with it, we don't _actually_ have all the time in the world."

In lieu of a reply, Sebastian just yanks down Kurt's briefs and licks up his cock, effectively shutting him up. Kurt throws his head back on the blanket, and it really _hits_ him that Sebastian's blowing him _outside_. It's a deserted house, sure, but technically anyone could walk in on them. He feels his cock jerk in the wet heat of Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian wasn't wrong, this is a turn-on for Kurt.

"Come on," he urges, tugging on Sebastian's hair. "Please, just-"

Sebastian hums something, the vibrations amplifying around Kurt's sensitive skin and holy- He just wants to come, _needs_ to come, he wants to blow Sebastian back, wants him to experience this thrill, too. "Sebastian, please, come on-" He both sees and feels Sebastian smile around him and how does _every little thing_ turn Kurt on?

"Are you close?" Sebastian asks, pulling away and grasping Kurt's cock to jerk him off.

"_Yes_, jesus, just-"

"You're gonna come? Right here? Outside, where _anyone can walk in on us_." His voice is low and raspy and-_surprise_-arousing. The talking and the implications really do it for Kurt, too, and he comes hard, gasping and arching up into Sebastian's grip, his cock twitching and spurting between Sebastian's fingers. "Yeah, babe, come on," Sebastian urges, milking the last out of him and sitting back on his heels when Kurt slumps down, panting.

"C'me here," Kurt says, making grabby hands while he's still trying to catch his breath. Sebastian leans over him to kiss him, but he's already unbuttoning his own pants.

"You are so fucking hot," he murmurs against Kurt's lips, and Kurt can feel the jerky movements of Sebastian's hand on his own cock, and Kurt wants to help; wants to grab him and crawl down and suck him off, but his limbs feel like led and it's all he can to to lie there and kiss Sebastian back.

"Don't you dare come on my shirt," he whispers when he realizes that's an actual risk, and Sebastian comes, laughing against Kurt's lips, his come splattering on Kurt's stomach, but manages to avoid his shirt.

"I didn't," he breathes out triumphantly when he's done coming, capturing Kurt in another kiss.

"Good for you," Kurt says, finally finding enough energy to reach up and slide his arms around Sebastian's neck. It doesn't last long, though, Sebastian pulling back almost immediately to sit up and look down at his hand with a wince.

"I'm messy."

Kurt glances down between them. "Yeah, me too." Sebastian looks at Kurt and then at the lake, and then he lights up. He wipes his hand on the grass beside the blanket and pulls off his shirt, then stands up to drag his underwear and his shorts down the rest of the way in one go.

"Come on," he says, backing away from Kurt and towards the lake, completely naked in the afternoon sun.

"What?!" Kurt squeaks, sitting up to stare at him. "Sebastian, what are you doing?"

"Cleaning up." He's still backing towards the dock, glancing behind him every few steps so he doesn't trip and stumble. "You should, too."

"I don't have my swim shorts!"

Sebastian stops then and gives him a really unimpressed look. "Do I _look_ like I want you to wear swim shorts?"

"But-" Kurt stops when he realizes that all of his arguments against skinny dipping falls short when he just received a _blowjob_ outside. If he goes into the lake, he will at least be covered by water if anyone should show up. "If anyone shows up, I'm gonna kill you!" he shouts at Sebastian, even as he sits up and pulls off his shirt, then drags off his pants.

"Looking forward to it!" Sebastian calls back, turning around to walk face first onto the dock.

Kurt feels uncomfortably exposed where he's standing completely naked with drying come on his stomach, so he walks fast down the grass to the dock. Sebastian jumps in the water without waiting for him, and he submerges just when Kurt reaches the end of the dock.

"Hi, gorgeous," Sebastian says, smiling brightly up at Kurt. "You wanna join me?"

"Is it cold?" Kurt has his arms crossed over his chest in a really vain attempt to cover up himself a little. He should just get the fuck into the water already.

"Not worse than the other day," Sebastian replies, treading water and not at all hiding how much he appreciates his view. Kurt takes a deep breath and jumps in, and nearly chokes on water with the shock of how _freezing_ it is.

"You liar!" he splutters when he gets his head over water again. He glares at Sebastian, who's still just grinning back at him. "It's freezing, you liar."

"If I'd told you the truth, you wouldn't have gotten in," Sebastian says, taking a few strokes to get over to Kurt. "And then I wouldn't have been able to do this." He leans in and kisses Kurt. It's soft and wet and a little awkward given their lack of grounding, but it's still kissing, it's still _nice_. They can't press their bodies against each other since they need to keep their legs moving, but just knowing that Sebastian is completely naked only a couple of inches away is thrilling all on its own and makes Kurt's cock twitch between his legs.

"True," Kurt agrees when they break apart. "But how do you plan on proceeding from here? We don't have any towels."

"Uh...You can-"

"Oh, don't worry about me, I'll take the blanket," Kurt interrupts with a sweet smile. "Worry about yourself." He swims over to the ladder before Sebastian can react and intercept, and climbs up with all the grace he can muster.

"Hey!" Sebastian calls after him, swimming towards the ladder. Kurt is already rushing up the dock and over the grass, yanking up the blanket and wrapping it around himself. It's not exactly sanitary, but it could be worse, and at least it's cotton, not fleece. Sebastian comes up beside Kurt and glares at him.

"You could share," he mutters. Kurt eyes him appreciatively. Sebastian has his arms crossed over his chest and he's shivering from the cool air on his wet skin. He's still naked, and it's still a pretty sight, but Kurt finally takes pity on him.

"Come here," he sighs, lifting up one end of the blanket and exposing himself completely. Sebastian hurries to get close to him, basically wraps his naked limbs around Kurt and buries his face in Kurt's neck when he wraps the blanket around the both of them. "If you get hard now it will completely defeat the purpose of why we got naked and wet," Kurt warns when he feels Sebastian try to press himself even closer.

"But I like you naked and wet. It's one of my favorite yous," Sebastian says, pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's lips.

"I'm not going in the water again." Kurt can't deny that having a naked Sebastian pressed against his own equally naked body is thrilling, and any other time he would be up for a repeat performance, but right now he's honestly too cold to get hard. They stand like that for another few minutes, more to be close than to actually get dry and warm, until Sebastian braces himself and grabs his clothes, hurries to put them on, and then helps Kurt with his.

"We should do this again," Sebastian says later when they're sitting on the porch steps, wrapped in new blankets and with bowls of pasta in their laps.

"Yes," Kurt says immediately, then, "wait, which part?"

Sebastian laughs and kisses his shoulder. "All of it. Well, maybe plan the swimming part a little better, but I really enjoyed it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Kurt rolls his eyes but smiles as he turns back to his food. The sun is setting, casting a warm glow over them and their surroundings, and Kurt can't recall ever being this happy. He should ask about what's going to happen in September. He should, but he doesn't want to, doesn't want to ruin the moment, doesn't want to ruin this thing they have. Sebastian wants them to be together and Kurt wants that, too, but he has no idea where Sebastian is going this fall, or what he's doing. He barely even knows what he'll do himself. They should talk about it, so they can make plans.

Kurt just can't bring himself to do it.

xoxoxoxox

Sebastian seems to be having similar thoughts, though. Over the next few days, Kurt catches him trying to say something but cutting himself off several times, and when Kurt tries to ask questions, Sebastian just tells him to drop it.

Then there's another barbeque, a smaller one this time, and everything just kind of comes to an end. There are few enough people that they're all gathered around the big garden table, and there's a lull in the conversation between Kurt and Sebastian just as one of the neighbours turns to Mrs Smythe and asks, "so, when are you leaving?"

"Next Monday," she replies, and Sebastian's head shoots up.

"What? Next Monday? But you said-"

She waves him off. "Yes, I know, but I rearranged some things so we could leave earlier."

"Where are you going?" Kurt asks, confused by Sebastian's apparent distress at these news.

"Oh, didn't Sebastian tell you?" Mrs Smythe asks, her expression a perfect display of faked surprise.

"Mom-," Sebastian tries, but she ignores him.

"We're moving to France. Sebastian got into Estienne. He really didn't tell you?" Her perfectly manicured eyebrows are too high up in her perfectly maintained hair. Kurt knows she doesn't like him, but this is-this is low. He has to physically shake himself to stop staring at her, and he can't even look at her. The rest of the table is dead silent.

"Excuse me," Kurt says, scooting away from the table and dropping his napkin on his plate. "I have to-" He walks away without finishing the sentence, ignoring the way Sebastian calls after him.

He walks through the house and out on the front porch, slumping down on the stairs. He wants to go away, wants to drive home, but he doesn't know the neighborhood and he doesn't trust himself in a car right now.

Sebastian is moving to France. Sebastian is _moving to France_ and he hasn't said _anything_ about it during the three months they've spent together. Three months is basically nothing, Kurt _knows_ that, but he honestly thought they had something. Apparently not.

He hears when Sebastian comes after him, his hurried steps across the floor and then the creaking of the floorboards on the porch.

"Kurt, I-"

"Don't," Kurt cuts him off. He can't listen to Sebastian right now, he just can't. "Don't talk."

Sebastian sits down beside him, hesitantly, and Kurt whips his head around to glare at him. "You're moving to France. To _France_, and you didn't think to tell me? Am I actually worth nothing to you?" Kurt wants to scream, but he knows his voice will carry through and around the house to the back, so he's doing his best to keep it at a low hiss. "All those-plans, everything, was it all just a lie?" His gaze is aimed at Sebastian, but he can't look him in the eye, can't see whatever it is Sebastian is feeling, because no matter what, it's nowhere near the betrayal and hurt Kurt is feeling. Years of trying to keep it together during bullying at school is the only thing that's keeping him from crying right now.

"What were you gonna do? Just leave and not tell me? Just-dump me like a stray summer cat? Am I just your cheap summer fling?" Damn it, he's choking up. He turns his gaze back to the ground and puts his hands over his face, pressing his palms into his eyes to stop the tears.

_Don't cry_.

_Don't cry_.

_Don't cry_.

_Don't let him see how much this affects you, don't_-it's a lost battle before it's even started. "I've never done this before," Kurt says, his voice thick. "I've never kissed a guy, I've never-gone further. With anyone. You knew that. You _knew that_ and you still-," he breaks off in a sob. He can feel Sebastian's distress next to him, but he really doesn't care.

He doesn't regret doing everything with Sebastian. The moments have been perfect, and if he got to do it again he totally would, but it still hurts more than he ever could have imagined to be reduced to...this.

"Kurt, come on," Sebastian tries. "You know it wasn't-"

"Do I? Do I know that? I didn't know you're _moving to another continent_, and that's a pretty big deal in a relationship. How can you expect me to believe anything else you've said?"

"I'm sorry. I thought-we weren't supposed to go for another _month_, I thought I'd have time to tell you."

"I'm _guessing_ you didn't find out about this yesterday," Kurt spits out. He still can't look Sebastian in the eye.

"No, but-Kurt, you made me promise not to talk about college, at all. What was I supposed to do?"

"What the-are you _actually stupid_?!" Kurt threads his fingers through his hair and tugs, trying to focus on anything else than the rage bubbling up inside of him. "I complain about not getting into my dream school and you just _assume_ that I don't want to know you're leaving at the end of the summer?"

"But-"

"YES! Yes, I understand that you wouldn't have stayed here anyway, but it's a pretty big difference between cross-country and transatlantic! Time difference, for one! Also, the fact that your mother _hates me_! Even if _you_ for some reason would've wanted me to come visit you-which you obviously don't since you didn't even tell me-I wouldn't have been able to stay with you."

"She doesn't-," Sebastian tries to protest, but Kurt shoots up to his feet and points through the house.

"She _knew_ you hadn't told me," he hisses. "She probably knew you _wouldn't_ tell me, and she said it just because she knew it would make me upset and mad with you. This is the exact reaction she was going for. I'm guessing she'll sleep really well tonight." He steps down to the ground. "I hope you do, too, when you don't have to worry about seeing me anymore." Then he turns around and walks down the walkway, head held high and ignoring Sebastian's calls after him. His bag is upstairs but he doesn't care, his keys and his phone are in his pockets and his wallet is still in his car; he can't bring himself to care about a few pieces of clothing right now.

He texts his dad that he's coming home, and then he sits in the car for a few minutes until he trusts himself to drive. When he turns the key, the music starts blaring, and he can't shut it off fast enough. It's one of Sebastian's mix CDs, and Kurt is pretty sure the glare he sends the stereo would've made any human run for their life.

The drive home feels insanely long and not long enough at the same time. He just wants to get home and go to bed and _sleep_ and try to forget about this, try to forget about this summer, try to forget what a fucking failure he is at _life_. At the same time, though, when he gets home, it will actually be over.

There's a flickering light in the living room when he gets home, meaning his dad is still up. Kurt kills the engine and takes a few deep breaths before getting out.

"Hey," he says when he closes the front door. His dad is leaning back over the edge of the couch.

"Hey. Are you all right? I thought you were staying over at Sebastian's?"

Kurt sighs. "Yeah. So did I. Apparently he's moving to France."

Burt sits up straight at that to look at Kurt properly. "He's _what_?"

Kurt looks at the TV behind his dad where a rerun of CSI is muted. "He's moving to France. Next Monday. He hasn't told me. So I'm just-" he nods towards the stairs. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Okay," his dad says, but he doesn't sound like he means it. "It'll be okay, Kurt."

Kurt gives him a weak attempt of a smile. "I hope so."


	4. Chapter 4 - First Summer, part 4

When Kurt wakes up, it takes him a few blissful moments to remember what happened last night. When he does, he moans and buries his head in his pillow. He doesn't want to wake up. He doesn't want to face a day when he's no longer allowed to be excited about Sebastian's existence; not yet.

He reaches for his phone, and as predicted, he has a couple of missed calls and a few texts from Sebastian. He doesn't read them, just sends a _No_, closes the conversation, and throws the phone down his bed. It's a little before ten and he has to be at work by three. Five hours is not enough time to go back to sleep, but it's still too much time to think.

He ends up in front of his computer, mindlessly browsing through craigs list entries tagged with 'New York'. It's about everything from apartments for rent, to babysitters needed, and Kurt finds himself getting more and more willing to do just about _anything_ to get away from here. Get away from this town, away from this life, away from himself as the person he is here.

When his phone bleeps, telling him it's time to get to work, he's jerked out of his downward spiral. He closes the browser without saving any of the twenty-seven tabs and shuts his computer off. He won't be going anywhere but to the Lima Bean for the foreseeable future. He might as well accept the fact and just deal with it.

xoxoxoxox

Kurt doesn't know if he really looks that miserable, or if his co-workers are just that nice, but when he gets into work and asks them to warn him if Sebastian comes in, they don't question it. Two hours into his shift he's standing with his back to the door, when Lisa suddenly pokes him in the side and hisses "_Backroom, now_" in his ear. He doesn't even question it, just gracefully disappears into the backroom as if that had been his intention the whole time, and he sends a silent thanks to Lisa when he hears Sebastian's voice drifting through the open door.

"Hi, is Kurt here?" Sebastian asks, even though he must have seen Kurt disappearing.

"He's busy," Lisa answers, snappier than Kurt has ever heard her. "Can I take your order?"

"Could you ask him if he-"

"Kurt is _busy_. May I _take your order_?"

Kurt doesn't need to see Sebastian to know that his gaze is flickering between Lisa and the wall Kurt is hiding behind. Kurt wants to see him, wants to go out and take a look and see if Sebastian is hurting just as badly as Kurt is, but he can't. He's afraid he'll see that Sebastian _isn't_, so he stays where he is, leaning against the wall, waiting while Lisa takes Sebastian's order and makes it for him. He hears the door open and close, but not until she calls out "He's gone" does he walk back out.

"Thank you," he says as he resumes his place by the counter. Lisa gives him a quick shoulder-squeeze and a reassuring smile.

"Anytime."

xoxoxoxox

Sebastian doesn't come to the Lima Bean at all on Saturday, and by the time Sunday afternoon rolls around, Kurt is torn. He's relieved that he hasn't had to see Sebastian, but at the same time he can't help being disappointed at Sebastian's obvious lack of interest. If he really likes Kurt as much as he'd said, he could've tried a little harder. Kurt is contradicting himself, he knows, because Sebastian _has_ tried to call him, several times, and sent him multiple texts, which have all been ignored. He has tried, and Kurt has ignored him, but it still feels too easy. It enforces Kurt's thoughts about this just being a fun temporary thing for Sebastian, that he never meant any part of what he said by the lake a few weeks ago.

When Kurt gets home from work, he heads straight up to his room and opens his closet. He spent last night at Rachel's, curled up in her bed with her laptop between them, going through craigslist once again. Kurt needs to do _something_, needs to get away from here, and he and Rachel have a tentative plan going on now. One thing that's definitely clear is that he can't possibly take all of his clothes with him to New York, so he might as well start to sort out his closet.

He's just reaching out to grab the first shirt, when the doorbell rings, and he hears his dad wander out to get it. Kurt stills with his hand on the fabric and tries to make something out of the muffled voices, but he gets nothing. Then his dad yells "Kurt! It's for you!" and Kurt knows his dad's different voices enough to realize that it's Sebastian at the door. He's instantly filled with equal parts dread and anticipation and he abandons his clothes in favor of looking over himself in the mirror. He's still wearing his work clothes and he hasn't showered, but Sebastian has seen him looking worse than this, so it doesn't matter. Probably.

Kurt takes his time, doesn't hurry to get out of his room or down the stairs. It's comforting that Sebastian is here, because this is Kurt's safe place, he has the upper hand here and can tell Sebastian to leave if it gets to be too much.

His dad gives him a questioning look when he gets down the stairs. Kurt gives him a half-shrug and a nod, and his dad gives him a short nod back before going back into the living room. Kurt shoves his hands deep down in his pockets and walks around the corner to the hall. Sebastian is standing with his back to the open door, arms crossed over his chest and staring intently at his shoes. He looks up when he hears Kurt's soft footsteps.

"Hey," he says, his voice a bit off. Kurt doesn't say anything, just stops at the threshold and looks at him. Sebastian meets his gaze for a second, then looks away. "Look, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I just-need to explain, please."

Kurt feels his dad's presence in the living room and knows that he's probably straining to hear the conversation.

"Come on, let's-" He steps forward and Sebastian steps back, out on the porch. Kurt closes the door behind them and leans back against it, looking at Sebastian expectantly. He doesn't particularly want to hear whatever excuse Sebastian is about to make up, but he needs to get some kind of closure.

Sebastian leans back against one of the pillars and sighs. "We weren't supposed to leave for another month. I know I should've told you earlier, but I just-I didn't want to ruin what we had."

"As opposed to now, you mean?" Kurt can't help but cut in. Sebastian shoots him a glare to compete with Kurt's own, so he just presses his lips together and waits.

"_I know_ I should have told you earlier," Sebastian repeats. "Like, on our first date. Or something like that. But I didn't, and then you-I knew you'd be upset, and I just wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. Shitty of me, I know, but-I was honest when we talked about the future. I want to do those things with you. I want you to visit me over there, I want all of those things."

Sebastian drags a hand over his face and sits down on the stairs. "I was planning to tell you in a better way. It involved these." He pulls an envelope from the front pocket of his hoodie and hands it to Kurt.

It's a plain, white envelope, and Kurt opens it reluctantly. He pulls out a few sheets of paper and unfolds them, his eyes widening as he reads.

"Sebastian, this is-"

It's a printout from Sebastian's Gmail account, a reservation for a Kurt Hummel on a flight to Paris in two months. It's dated three weeks ago.

"It's presumptuous, I know, but it's changeable, and you haven't said anything about new plans for fall, so..." Sebastian trails off and looks down at his knees. "I really meant to tell you."

"This is-I can't-" Kurt stutters, still staring at the papers as if i can't believe they're real.

Sebastian shrugs. "My parents are loaded, you know that. It's not-I want you to visit. And now I sure as fuck don't care what they'll say, not after what mom did."

Kurt folds up the papers back in the envelope and hands it back to Sebastian. "Can you-I believe you, but...Can I get some time? To think?"

Sebastian stuffs the envelope back in his pocket and stands up. "Sure. Sure I'll just-" He doesn't meet Kurt's eyes, barely looks in his direction. "Whatever. I'll just-go home." He turns around and walks down the stairs, without looking back.

"Sebastian!" Kurt calls out after him. Sebastian stops and spins on the spot and throws his arms out.

"What?" he says, and he sounds choked up. Kurt wants to go after him and hug him, but he really needs to sort out his own thoughts. He believes that Sebastian is sincere, the email was pretty convincing, but he still needs to deal with the thought of possibly being in a relationship with someone across the Atlantic. He can't rush into this, he has to take his time, for his own sake and for Sebastian's. "What do you want me to do?" Sebastian continues, jerking Kurt out of his thoughts. "You want me to sit on your porch while you decide if I'm good enough for you? I've explained, and apologized, and if you can't accept it-that's on you."

He turns again and walks away before Kurt has a chance to say anything. He stays on the porch, watching Sebastian drive away, and not until the sound of the engine has completely faded does he go inside again.

xoxoxoxox

Kurt spends the rest of the night locked up in his room, sorting his clothes with a system almost bordering on obsessive, and thinking.

Does he want to be in a transatlantic long-distance relationship? Is it worth it? Will it be worth the tears and the aching longing, the insane phone bills and missed sleep due to late night skype sessions?

Probably. Kurt feels like he's insane for even considering it; he's only known Sebastian for three months and they've spent so much time together, it's hard to imagine how they'll work out when they'll only see each other a few times a year at the very most. But, at the same time, he really wants to give this a shot. He's never felt this way about anyone before. Not that he's had any chance before, but he wants to give this a try. He feels like he owes it, to both himself and Sebastian. If it doesn't work out, at least they'll never have to see each other again.

The realization hits Kurt hard and he sits down at the edge of the bed, holding an old sweater in his arms. He's actually going to try and do this. If Sebastian still wants to, they're going to try a transatlantic long-distance relationship.

This was not how Kurt imagined his summer to end.

xoxoxoxox

Kurt gives it a few more days to really think it over and let it sink in, but Wednesday night, when he's spent all day at work zoning out, he realizes that his feelings aren't going away. Sebastian is, though, and if Kurt wants to do this, he needs to do something about it now.

He can barely sit still during dinner, and as soon as they're done, he says "I'm going over to Sebastian's," grabs his car keys, and is out the door before his father or Carole have a chance to reply.

Kurt has no idea what he's going to say to Sebastian, but the thought of losing him, like this, without even trying, makes Kurt dizzy. It's been cloudy all day and the sky keeps getting darker in a way that has nothing to do with nightfall the closer Kurt gets to Sebastian's house. Kurt recognizes it in a distant sort of way, but he doesn't realize what it means until he turns onto Sebastian's street and the rain starts to splatter on his windshield. He parks on the street and looks up at the house. Sebastian is on the porch with a book in his lap, but his eyes are focused on Kurt. In just a few seconds, the rain goes from dripping to downright pouring, and when Kurt steps out of the car, he's soaked before he even locks it up.

Sebastian is standing when Kurt makes it up the walkway and Kurt stops about halfway to the porch, not wanting to get closer to Sebastian before he knows what he'll say.

"Hi," Kurt says, squinting up at Sebastian through the rain. He knows he should be freezing, but he's too nervous to register the cold.

"Hi," Sebastian replies, arms crossed over his chest and sounding wary.

"I, uh-" Kurt really hasn't thought this through, at all. He sighs, takes a deep breath. "I want this, too. Us. I-believe you. And I understand why you didn't-why you didn't want to say something. I don't think I would've, either." He stares at Sebastian's clavicle as he talks, can't look him in the face, but when he's done, he aims his gaze a bit higher. "And...I think I'm in love with you," he adds, looking Sebastian in the eye this time.

"You think?" Sebastian echoes, but there's no malice in his voice.

"Yes. And I-I want to be in a fucking long-distance relationship with you, Sebastian, can you-" Kurt doesn't get to finish his sentence, Sebastian is down the stairs and in front of him in seconds and then they're kissing.

It's still raining, and Kurt is pretty sure his phone won't survive this, but Sebastian's lips are warm against his and how is he supposed to care about anything but that?

"It's gonna be really shitty most of the time," Sebastian says when they finally break apart. He's soaked now, too, raindrops streaming down his face. "With time zones, and someone forgetting to call, and not being able to touch each other, and-"

"I know, shut up," Kurt says, pulling him in for another kiss. "I know, but-It's worth a try, isn't it?"

Sebastian smiles a thim. "Hell yes, it is."

They lose themselves in kissing, don't break apart again until someone clears their throat up on the porch. Sebastian spins around and sees his father standing there with a bemused smile.

"While I'm sure we all appreciate the dramatic flare of this, you _will_ catch a cold if you stay out much longer," he says, trying hard to sound serious.

"Uhm, yeah..." Sebastian turns to Kurt. "You wanna come in? You can borrow something so you won't have to drive home like that. Or you could, I mean-"

"I'm heading over to Nick's," Sebastian's dad interrupts, nodding towards a house further down the street. Kurt realizes now that he has an umbrella in one hand. "We're gonna watch the game. I'll probably be away for at least a few hours. And your mother doesn't come home until tomorrow." He opens the umbrella and steps down on the walkway. "Good to see you, Kurt," he says as he passes them.

Kurt and Sebastian both stare after him as he walks down the street.

"Did your dad just tell us we could-"

"Finish that sentence, and I'll never speak to you again," Sebastian cuts him off with a strained voice. Kurt laughs and tangles his fingers with Sebastian's, then turns them around towards the house.

"If it helps, I like his idea."

"Noted, but it doesn't."

When they step up on the porch and the roof protects them from the rain, Kurt is instantly hit with the realization of how cold he is. His clothes are sticking to his skin and water is trickling from his hair, down his neck and into the collar of his shirt. He presses his lips together to keep his teeth from rattling and keeps silent during the walk to Sebastian's bedroom. When they're both in dry clothes, Sebastian grabs Kurt's arm and pulls him close, hugging him.

"That was probably not the best idea," Sebastian says after a while.

"No," Kurt agrees, snuggling closer and burrowing his face in the soft fabric of Sebastian's hoodie. "I'd do it again, though," he adds.

"Well, good. I'd want you to do it again."

"Yeah, who wouldn't want a soaking wet boy standing in front of their house telling them they love you every day," Kurt deadpans, but Sebastian stiffens in his arms. Kurt steps back. "What?"

"Nothing. Just-I love you, too."

"Good." Kurt leans in to kiss him again, and it quickly turns heated.

"Why did we get dressed?" Sebastian asks, tugging on Kurt's shirt.

"Something with 'wet' and 'cold' I think," Kurt murmurs back, reluctant to let go of Sebastian's mouth even to pull their shirts over their heads.

"Doesn't make sense, you're hot," Sebastian says between kisses. Kurt groans and rolls his eyes, and the movement lets Sebastian push him backwards onto the bed. "Come on," he says, sliding his hands in under the waistband of the pajama pants Kurt has borrowed. Kurt lifts his hips to help him, then does the same to Sebastian, leaving them both in their underwear.

It only takes a few minutes of kissing and roaming hands to get them both hard and panting. Sebastian presses down, his cock sliding against Kurt's through the cotton, and Kurt arches up against him. They're in Sebastian's bed, and they're alone for a few more hours, and Sebastian is leaving on Monday. A surge of heat goes through Kurt as he realizes exactly what he wants to do before Sebastian leaves and his cock twitches at the thought, making Sebastian groan where he has his mouth pressed against the soft skin of Kurt's neck.

Kurt grabs the back of Sebastian's head and guides him up until their lips meet again. "Fuck me," he breathes out against Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian stills, but Kurt can feel his cock pulse against Kurt's.

"Are you-?" He starts to ask, but Kurt slides his hands down and grabs Sebastian's ass and presses him closer in an imitation of a thrust, effectively shutting him up.

"Yes," he says, and sticks his hands inside of Sebastian's underwear so he can drag his nails over his skin. "I'm sure."

"Okay. Okay, I'll just-" He reaches over to open the drawer in the bedside table, pulling out lube and condoms. "Fuck, Kurt-"

"Yes, exactly. Come on, off," Kurt says, tugging on Sebastian's boxers. Sebastian helps him to get them off, then pulls off Kurt's, and then they're both gloriously naked and achingly hard. Sebastian starts to move down the bed, but Kurt stops him with a hand on his shoulder. "Could you-I'm...pretty close, already, so..." He feels his cheeks heat up with embarrassment, but Sebastian doesn't laugh at him, just lies down on top of him instead and kisses him again.

Kurt hears the snap of the lube bottle lid, and a few seconds later, Sebastian is trailing cool, sticky fingers against his hole.

"Like this?" Sebastian asks, his breath ghosting over Kurt's skin.

"Uh-huh," Kurt nods, swallowing hard when Sebastian presses the first fingertip in.

It's-good. Kurt has experimented on his own, especially since he started dating Sebastian, but this is so much better than doing it alone. Sebastian quickly works it up to two fingers and he's panting heavily against Kurt's neck. Kurt roams his hands over Sebastian's body, feels the strain in his arm where he's keeping himself hovering over Kurt and _god_, he's so turned on by the whole situation.

"More," he pleads when the pain has lessened and there's just slick hot _pressure_. Sebastian opens his mouth, presumably to ask Kurt if he's sure, but Kurt grabs his head and kisses him hard to stop him. "You need to fuck me before I come," he says, and he feels more than sees Sebastian swallow and nod. Then he eases in another finger next to the other two, and Kurt moans, loudly. "Come on, Sebastian."

"Okay, I'll just-" Sebastian sits back on his heels and Kurt shivers when he doesn't have a warm body hovering over him anymore. He watches Sebastian reach for a condom and put it on, slick himself up, and then Sebastian meets his eyes for a second. He raises his eyebrows in a silent question and Kurt nods, too turned on and excited and nervous to be able to come up with a witty reply to such a redundant question.

There's blunt pressure, and Kurt forces himself to relax, takes a deep breath and watches Sebastian concentrate as he slowly presses inside.

"_God_," Sebastian breathes out when he's finally inside. He reaches up to swipe his hair out of his face but can't tear his gaze away from where they're joined. Kurt is finding it surprisingly hot to watch just how hot _Sebastian_ thinks this is, and his cock is aching so much now that he _has_ to touch it. He reaches down to grab himself, and he can see how Sebastian immediately refocuses, and then closes his eyes and groans.

"Kurt, you can't," he says, sounding tense with the strain it is to keep still. His hands are on Kurt's thighs, keeping them apart, and his nails are digging into Kurt's skin.

"Move," Kurt says, finally feeling ready and needing more. He puts his heels on Sebastian's ass and presses, for emphasis. Sebastian catches on quickly, moving in and out with long, slow thrusts, despite Kurt pressing for more. "Come on," he huffs impatiently. "Harder." Sebastian's eyes meet his, and he smirks, and _there's_ the Sebastian that Kurt knows. He takes a better grip on Kurt's thighs, presses them up and apart, thrusts in harder, and Kurt loses his breath for a second.

"Jesus," he groans, jerking his cock faster. "Fuck, Sebastian, right there, _god_-" He clutches the sheets with his free hand and tries to arch his hips up to meet Sebastian's thrusts, but he's inexperienced and can't match his rhythm, at all. It doesn't really matter though, because after only a couple of more thrusts, Kurt feels the tell-tale sensation in his back, and he knows he's close. Sebastian seems to notice, too, because he rearranges his grip on Kurt's legs and then reaches down to grasp Kurt's cock, jerking it with practiced moves.

"Come on, Kurt," he urges, working his hips the best he can. "Just let it go, come on my cock, come on-"

And Kurt does. He squeezes his eyes shut and lets his orgasm rush over him in powerful waves, just going with it. He's so lost in the sensation that he doesn't notice the stuttering of Sebastian's hips and his drawn-out groan until he slumps down on the bed beside Kurt, placing a sloppy kiss on his mouth.

"I'm so glad we did that before I leave," he says, sighing contentedly.

"Okay...?" Kurt says, not really sure if he wants to hear the answer.

"Jerk-off material for _months_," Sebastian says, cuddling closer to Kurt and burrowing his face in Kurt's neck. "I'm gonna need it."

Kurt can feel himself blush, even though he logically knows Sebastian jerks off. He most certainly appreciates being the source of Sebastian's fantasies, but he still gets embarrassed to have it spelled out so bluntly.

"Good for you, then," he says, his voice a bit higher than normal. Sebastian kisses his neck and Kurt can feel his smile.

"Yeah. Good for me."

xoxoxoxox

During Sebastian's last days in the country, they spend all of their free time together. Their parents are not too happy about it, but Kurt and Sebastian really don't care. Sebastian packs while Kurt's at work, and then they spend as much time as possible doing as little as possible. Kurt still hasn't told Sebastian about his New York plans, which makes him feel a bit like a hypocrite, but on the other hand it won't exactly affect their relationship if Kurt's in Ohio or New York. He'll still be hours away from Sebastian.

Kurt doesn't come along to the airport. He doesn't want to drive, and he doesn't want to take a cab back home, so he says his goodbye to Sebastian at home.

Sebastian's dad isn't moving for another few months, so the house is still almost fully furnished. It feels weird to lie in Sebastian's bed, knowing that they'll probably never return. The next time they're together, it'll be in Paris. They're leaving for the airport around seven in the morning, and Kurt and Sebastian have been up all night, just laying in bed, talking.

"I'm gonna miss you so much," Kurt says when the sunlight starts to trickle in through the curtains. His throat is tight and he blinks furiously to avoid any tears.

"I'm gonna miss you, too," Sebastian replies, closing the couple of inches between them to kiss him. Kurt hasn't let any tears fall, but there's still wetness against his cheeks.


End file.
